Michael Jackson's kids will be adopted by winners of reality TV series!
“In a few weeks, after there has been some time for healing, those seeking custody of MJ’s kids will be offered the opportunity to become contestants on a new reality television program”
Apparently there are legal precedents set by television programs like “The Peoples Court” and “Judge Judy” for having legal disputes argued in a public forum. Assuming all concerned parties agree, the show would air as part of this years fall schedule. When asked about the possible format for the show the exec answered.
“The format would be based on the same ideas as “Who wants to marry a millionaire” and “Survivor” except that a Judge and a panel of social workers would have the ability to council the children through the decision making process. Contestants will not be allowed lawyers on the show and will all undergo stringent background and drug checks. The viewing audience will also periodically be asked to vote a contestant off the ranch. All in all a fun experience for the home viewer”
Such a show would undoubtedly get huge ratings, so much so that opposing networks might simply run infomercials opposite this possible media juggernaut. It is rumored that 30 seconds of advertising during the program will cost twice as much as a one minute advertisement during the Super-bowl! The executive also revealed other possible features of the alleged show.
“We are of course feverishly looking for ways to augment the program by giving the viewing public more of a say in what ultimately happens to MJ’s kids. One of the things we have in development is a sort of Blackjack game in which the viewing audience can split the children up, but we’re stuck on what would happen if the viewing public decides to double down. Poker is very hot right now so we might include a poker event in the show. To win custody you would have to “Go all in” and so fourth.”
When we questioned all the major networks they denied that any such show was in development. This can only mean that there is a code of silence surrounding the show. This of course never happened. We here at NTOPIX were shocked to find out that this show was planned by MJ himself prior to his death. MJ claimed that the show would bypass the legal battles that would ensue in the event of his death. The final revelation in this bizarre tale was yet to come. According to the executive,
“The first episode will begin with a scene in which the children, contestants, judge, social workers and a man in a bear suit will be standing around a replica of MJ’s casket. The casket will then be lowered into the ground, the bear suited man will cast some earth unto the casket thus declaring the contest has officially begun”
In further conversations it was also revealed that the bear suited man would not speak, which started a firestorm of speculation as to the identity of this bear suited person. We also learned that the bear suited man (or BSM) would be a recurring theme-based feature of the show. In order to keep the true identity of the BSM a secret, 12 celebrity BSM impersonators will arrive at the ranch each day but only one will be the real McCoy. There is a long list of possible BSM impersonators from George Clooney to Jeff Goldblum to Mark Hamill to Kevin Smith, the list goes on and on! What challenges will face the BSM? Will the real BSM be revealed to the viewing audience? Find out this fall on the soon to be hit fictional television series “Thriller Children - Epic Adoption”
Joe Jackson Admits he doesn't "Really" want the kids.
In an interview that Joe will claim never happened (probably because it didn’t) Joe Jackson clearly acknowledged that his recent attempts to gain custody of Michael Jackson’s children is part of a plot to bypass the fact that he was left out of the will. Father of the king of Pop Had this to say:
“You don’t even know who I am do you?”
“I don’t want anyone else’s children.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
It’s obvious that Jackson is suffering from some sort of mental illness and periodically forgets about his son and grandchildren. When we asked him about the family and how they are holding up he seemed somewhat angry as he said:
“My publicist told me I was here to talk about my music.”
We had some time to kill so we asked him about his music. What followed was a lengthy discussion about his fictional career. He claims to be a recording artist who has released 18 or more studio albums dating back to the Seventies. In our haste to get this article published we failed to verify any of this. We allowed Mr Jackson to talk and talk for about 45 minutes before we again asked him if he would honor the will left by his recently deceased son and he exploded into a rage saying amongst other things:
“This interview is over!”
“Are you a fucking moron?”
Once we finally calmed him down we asked him to pose for this photo and he very reluctantly agreed.
We were scared at this point and didn’t ask the remainder of our questions. As Jackson left he shouted the following back at us:
“If I am Joe Jackson, the father of Jacko, why am I posing in front of a piano?”
“I’m not even an african american!”
This was strange because I would have been thinking the same thing if this purely fictional interview had ever taken place. It of course never did. This is a total work of fiction. I’m totally super serial. However if you look closely you may be able to detect the family resemblance.