Hey! What are you looking at!
14/07/09 02:05
Hey! What are you looking at?
Do you really want an answer?
There are several instances that we get asked the very pointed question "what are you looking at"? It's a phrase that is most often shouted or spoken forcefully. Many times the answer to this question marks the start of some sort of argument. Think about this, do you really want an answer? Are you just opening yourself up for public embarrassment?
Here are just a few examples.
The Freaks
And yes I use the term lightly
One segment of society that seems to make frequent use of the question in question are people that some would say have a freakish appearance or exhibit freakish behavior. People with 15 nose-rings and a tattoo of an aardvark on their neck sort of spring to mind. I don't personally have any tattoos but I will admit some of this artwork is simply amazing. What I can't fathom is why you would spend 8 hours being repeatedly stabbed by a needle in order to have a beautiful rendition of an aardvark on your neck,... if you didn't want people to look at it! I mean you can't see it yourself without a mirror.
I kinda understand it in a way. This is the punk rock counter culture. Punk rockers (the real ones) feel that by expressing thoughts contrary to societal norm that they are expressing individuality. So they rush out for an aardvark to the neck which any normal sane person would find strange and look at with puzzled expressions. The next step is to forever use this aardvark to make normal people feel bad for finding this tattoo and it's placement odd somehow. The part the average person unfortunately doesn't get to see when they walk away is the following conversation:
Punk 1 - HAha I made that guy feel like an idiot!
Punk 2 - Yeah totally that was awesome!
Punk 3 - Yeah but dude you have a F@$king AARDVARK ON YOUR NECK!!!!!
Those of you that have really cool tattoos that don't mind people looking at them are the ones that are really expressing yourselves. The fact that you are so into the artwork that you are consenting to allow the artist to use your body as a canvas is a level of commitment that few people reach. It's not for everyone and you accept that fact so bonus points for you!
Those Over-Burdoned by Beauty
I'm Too Sexy to LIVE!
I live in the downtown core of a University town. This is where all the bars are. If you can find a place to park you can go club hopping on foot because every other building has a bar in it. Summer and winter alike the clothing is scarcer than an original thought in Hollywood! Sometimes when I go out for a walk on a Friday or Saturday night my eyes feel like ping-png balls from the over activity. Occasionally I see a woman who is just extraordinarily beautiful and I just can't help but stare. I mean I try not to. I try to use my peripheral vision. I don't want to appear creepy after all. On even rarer occasions a woman such as this will catch my gaze and smile back at me. At this point she is officially out of my league because she was able to look at my expression, realize my appreciation of her beauty and make the decision to be flattered. This denotes above average intelligence. Strikingly beautiful intelligent women seem to steer clear of unknown Musicians, non best selling writers and guys that need to spend some time in the gym. I am all three.
Other times an amazingly beautiful woman looks back at you and says "What the F@$k are you looking at"? For some reason I can't explain, they go from awe inspiring beauty to fugly in 0.0000043 seconds flat. A defence mechanism perhaps?
Just once I would like to have the presence of mind to say something biting and witty but I'm afraid my remark would lose all it's power when I have to explain what I meant...
Guy Who Catches you Looking at His Girlfriend
,... and he's also drunk.
If you have a girlfriend and she's attractive, my looking or seeming to look at her should not be taken as an insult to your masculinity. If you're that insecure that you think I can walk up, and whisper "let's go" in her ear and steal her away from you, I'm probably not your biggest problem. You may need to do some self esteem work or your girlfriend may be looking to escape your relationship. It could also be that your girlfriend is extremely eager to please! In either case if I am really stealing her away I am doing you a favor.
It's more likely that the two of you are standing at the bar and I'm trying to get the bartender's attention so I can order a drink. This also explains the side to side body motion that is causing me to rub against her. She's tall and I have to look over her shoulder first to her left,...then over to her right to see the bartender! If this offends you just imagine I'm doing it to you!
See that? By comparison it's not so bad!
The Differently Able
,... and the crowd goes mild!
I was crossing the street less than a block from my apartment and there were two morbidly obese women in wheelchairs one of whom had both legs amputated just below the knee.Yes I understand that it's difficult to stay fit when confined to a wheelchair I mention their weight only to paint a picture of the actual situation not to make fun of people who are overweight.
I wasn't staring, I really wasn't. I was facing their direction and looking at the lights waiting for them to change so I could cross the street. The non-amputee began to shout at me. "Haven't you ever seen a disabled person before"? Now it's not like I leered at her disabled friend or made some expression of shock or horror at the sight of her. Often times when I see someone with a disability I wonder how I would cope if I were disabled in the same way. I think that's an honest reaction really, but perhaps I'm wrong.
What makes me angry is this stupid cow, this unlikely union of a bloated Fembot and a Daleck actually thinks that I'm looking at her friend and thinking things like "haha I've got legs and you don't". Here I am waiting for the light trying to empathize with the plight of a disabled person, doing all of this in my head of course which makes it my own business!
This caused me to have an epiphany. This is the very reason people resent disabled parking spots! When they see that the only parking spot within a quarter mile of the shop they want to go into is reserved for the handicapped they don't think of the decent kind and considerate differently able person (which is the vast majority of people that need to use these spaces) they think of Attila the rolling hun on the street corner blocking the entire sidewalk yelling "i can stare longer than you can".
Do you really want an answer?
There are several instances that we get asked the very pointed question "what are you looking at"? It's a phrase that is most often shouted or spoken forcefully. Many times the answer to this question marks the start of some sort of argument. Think about this, do you really want an answer? Are you just opening yourself up for public embarrassment?
Here are just a few examples.
The Freaks
And yes I use the term lightly
One segment of society that seems to make frequent use of the question in question are people that some would say have a freakish appearance or exhibit freakish behavior. People with 15 nose-rings and a tattoo of an aardvark on their neck sort of spring to mind. I don't personally have any tattoos but I will admit some of this artwork is simply amazing. What I can't fathom is why you would spend 8 hours being repeatedly stabbed by a needle in order to have a beautiful rendition of an aardvark on your neck,... if you didn't want people to look at it! I mean you can't see it yourself without a mirror.
I kinda understand it in a way. This is the punk rock counter culture. Punk rockers (the real ones) feel that by expressing thoughts contrary to societal norm that they are expressing individuality. So they rush out for an aardvark to the neck which any normal sane person would find strange and look at with puzzled expressions. The next step is to forever use this aardvark to make normal people feel bad for finding this tattoo and it's placement odd somehow. The part the average person unfortunately doesn't get to see when they walk away is the following conversation:
Punk 1 - HAha I made that guy feel like an idiot!
Punk 2 - Yeah totally that was awesome!
Punk 3 - Yeah but dude you have a F@$king AARDVARK ON YOUR NECK!!!!!
Those of you that have really cool tattoos that don't mind people looking at them are the ones that are really expressing yourselves. The fact that you are so into the artwork that you are consenting to allow the artist to use your body as a canvas is a level of commitment that few people reach. It's not for everyone and you accept that fact so bonus points for you!
Those Over-Burdoned by Beauty
I'm Too Sexy to LIVE!
I live in the downtown core of a University town. This is where all the bars are. If you can find a place to park you can go club hopping on foot because every other building has a bar in it. Summer and winter alike the clothing is scarcer than an original thought in Hollywood! Sometimes when I go out for a walk on a Friday or Saturday night my eyes feel like ping-png balls from the over activity. Occasionally I see a woman who is just extraordinarily beautiful and I just can't help but stare. I mean I try not to. I try to use my peripheral vision. I don't want to appear creepy after all. On even rarer occasions a woman such as this will catch my gaze and smile back at me. At this point she is officially out of my league because she was able to look at my expression, realize my appreciation of her beauty and make the decision to be flattered. This denotes above average intelligence. Strikingly beautiful intelligent women seem to steer clear of unknown Musicians, non best selling writers and guys that need to spend some time in the gym. I am all three.
Other times an amazingly beautiful woman looks back at you and says "What the F@$k are you looking at"? For some reason I can't explain, they go from awe inspiring beauty to fugly in 0.0000043 seconds flat. A defence mechanism perhaps?
Just once I would like to have the presence of mind to say something biting and witty but I'm afraid my remark would lose all it's power when I have to explain what I meant...
Guy Who Catches you Looking at His Girlfriend
,... and he's also drunk.
If you have a girlfriend and she's attractive, my looking or seeming to look at her should not be taken as an insult to your masculinity. If you're that insecure that you think I can walk up, and whisper "let's go" in her ear and steal her away from you, I'm probably not your biggest problem. You may need to do some self esteem work or your girlfriend may be looking to escape your relationship. It could also be that your girlfriend is extremely eager to please! In either case if I am really stealing her away I am doing you a favor.
It's more likely that the two of you are standing at the bar and I'm trying to get the bartender's attention so I can order a drink. This also explains the side to side body motion that is causing me to rub against her. She's tall and I have to look over her shoulder first to her left,...then over to her right to see the bartender! If this offends you just imagine I'm doing it to you!
See that? By comparison it's not so bad!
The Differently Able
,... and the crowd goes mild!
I was crossing the street less than a block from my apartment and there were two morbidly obese women in wheelchairs one of whom had both legs amputated just below the knee.Yes I understand that it's difficult to stay fit when confined to a wheelchair I mention their weight only to paint a picture of the actual situation not to make fun of people who are overweight.
I wasn't staring, I really wasn't. I was facing their direction and looking at the lights waiting for them to change so I could cross the street. The non-amputee began to shout at me. "Haven't you ever seen a disabled person before"? Now it's not like I leered at her disabled friend or made some expression of shock or horror at the sight of her. Often times when I see someone with a disability I wonder how I would cope if I were disabled in the same way. I think that's an honest reaction really, but perhaps I'm wrong.
What makes me angry is this stupid cow, this unlikely union of a bloated Fembot and a Daleck actually thinks that I'm looking at her friend and thinking things like "haha I've got legs and you don't". Here I am waiting for the light trying to empathize with the plight of a disabled person, doing all of this in my head of course which makes it my own business!
This caused me to have an epiphany. This is the very reason people resent disabled parking spots! When they see that the only parking spot within a quarter mile of the shop they want to go into is reserved for the handicapped they don't think of the decent kind and considerate differently able person (which is the vast majority of people that need to use these spaces) they think of Attila the rolling hun on the street corner blocking the entire sidewalk yelling "i can stare longer than you can".
Vinyl Isn't Coming Back, It's Festering!
03/07/09 04:29
Lately I have seen a number of articles declaring that vinyl records are making some sort of comeback. It might seem this way but I surmise that this so-called resurgence is little more than a mirage. The fact that teenagers are picking through dollar bins in used music stores looking for music is the result of a few things that are happening right now.
First of all, most major label music sucks! The upshot of this is that listeners are turning to other outlets for musical enjoyment. Since there is an amazing back catalog available in the used music shops it’s easy to see why people would be attracted to the selection and the low prices. Let’s keep in mind that this is product on the resale market and only a diehard few vinyl fans are buying newly manufactured LPs. New Vinyl averages at $25 -$45 per Lp. So really the resurgence here is in use of turntables rather than new music sales. I’d also like to point out that most of the music from the 80’s and first half of the 90’s featured better recordings of better musicians than we typically find today. Don’t believe me? Take a typical 80’s band, let say Tears for Fears, and listen to the quality of the recording versus a typical band from today, let’s say Fallout Boy. See what I mean? There is a very good reason for this discrepancy in sound quality. In the 80’s and early 90’s music (even indie music) was mostly recorded in studios manned by actual recording engineers. The average album took between 6 weeks and 3 months to produce. You could afford to do this because you would then have a product that had value that you could sell. Today music is recorded (in many cases) just as quickly and cheaply as possible, many times in makeshift home studios by people who aren’t as adept at producing a high quality of sound. So what we have is the following trend:
The end product is worth less and, so knowing this, bands and labels put less effort and money into the recording process.
Remember when you were a kid and it made you so happy that you had a baseball card, or an action figure or anything little Billy across the street didn’t have? A similar thing is at play here. Since much of vinyl available at your average used record shop was never released on CD it’s not all that difficult to find great music that isn’t available on the internet for download. This means you have tunes that little Billy doesn’t, and he’s gonna have to go search for another copy of the LP if he want’s to own it! Current music is available on the internet, so even if little Billy is too lazy to track it down for free he can just pay the $.99 and get the songs from iTunes.
I think this so called resurgence will keep getting press until we finally find a solid way to monetize music. When the bottom line improves for the people who create music, my guess is so will all aspects of the quality of the music itself.
First of all, most major label music sucks! The upshot of this is that listeners are turning to other outlets for musical enjoyment. Since there is an amazing back catalog available in the used music shops it’s easy to see why people would be attracted to the selection and the low prices. Let’s keep in mind that this is product on the resale market and only a diehard few vinyl fans are buying newly manufactured LPs. New Vinyl averages at $25 -$45 per Lp. So really the resurgence here is in use of turntables rather than new music sales. I’d also like to point out that most of the music from the 80’s and first half of the 90’s featured better recordings of better musicians than we typically find today. Don’t believe me? Take a typical 80’s band, let say Tears for Fears, and listen to the quality of the recording versus a typical band from today, let’s say Fallout Boy. See what I mean? There is a very good reason for this discrepancy in sound quality. In the 80’s and early 90’s music (even indie music) was mostly recorded in studios manned by actual recording engineers. The average album took between 6 weeks and 3 months to produce. You could afford to do this because you would then have a product that had value that you could sell. Today music is recorded (in many cases) just as quickly and cheaply as possible, many times in makeshift home studios by people who aren’t as adept at producing a high quality of sound. So what we have is the following trend:
The end product is worth less and, so knowing this, bands and labels put less effort and money into the recording process.
Remember when you were a kid and it made you so happy that you had a baseball card, or an action figure or anything little Billy across the street didn’t have? A similar thing is at play here. Since much of vinyl available at your average used record shop was never released on CD it’s not all that difficult to find great music that isn’t available on the internet for download. This means you have tunes that little Billy doesn’t, and he’s gonna have to go search for another copy of the LP if he want’s to own it! Current music is available on the internet, so even if little Billy is too lazy to track it down for free he can just pay the $.99 and get the songs from iTunes.
I think this so called resurgence will keep getting press until we finally find a solid way to monetize music. When the bottom line improves for the people who create music, my guess is so will all aspects of the quality of the music itself.
Honour MIchael Jackson by learning from his life!
27/06/09 15:12
Okay folks, enough is enough! It’s been a couple days now and I think many of us are missing the point. Michael Jackson was a man who was literally programmed by his father to become a superstar. It worked. However all the money, the houses the exotic pets that his boatloads of cash bought him never gave him back his childhood. Those of you out there who schedule every second of your kids lives in an attempt to live your dreams vicariously through them should take serious note here. Let your kids be kids. If you don’t you will create an empty void inside them that can never be filled. Jacko literally destroyed his life in the attempt. That is one of the lessons here.
Another important lesson is for those of you who are on a path to stardom. People who tell only tell you how great you are and only say what you want to hear are probably lying to you! Keep your ties with friends and family who know who you REALLY are! This will keep you grounded in some sort of reality. This will prevent you from booking yourself on a 9 month 50 date concert series at age 50, when you’re so depressed you can barely move! It may also keep you from having to self medicate yourself into oblivion!
The last thing I’d like to say is that, in a way MJ was murdered. Slowly tortured and driven to suicide by his fans. I mean he wrote and recorded a song called “Leave me Alone” for a start. I’m sure he felt that the only time anyone ever listened to him was when he was singing. If you could afford 700 euros for a VIP package to one of the sold out shows I really hope that if you get that money back you donate it to a worthwhile charitable organization in MJ’s name. It would be a fitting legacy for the real man none of us ever knew.
Another important lesson is for those of you who are on a path to stardom. People who tell only tell you how great you are and only say what you want to hear are probably lying to you! Keep your ties with friends and family who know who you REALLY are! This will keep you grounded in some sort of reality. This will prevent you from booking yourself on a 9 month 50 date concert series at age 50, when you’re so depressed you can barely move! It may also keep you from having to self medicate yourself into oblivion!
The last thing I’d like to say is that, in a way MJ was murdered. Slowly tortured and driven to suicide by his fans. I mean he wrote and recorded a song called “Leave me Alone” for a start. I’m sure he felt that the only time anyone ever listened to him was when he was singing. If you could afford 700 euros for a VIP package to one of the sold out shows I really hope that if you get that money back you donate it to a worthwhile charitable organization in MJ’s name. It would be a fitting legacy for the real man none of us ever knew.
Was Sarah Palin the cause of McCain's loss?
19/06/09 11:03
Are you out of your freaking mind? OF COURCE SHE WAS!!!! I think the video recorded by Matt Damon says it all (look for it on Youtube). Americans were terrified that if McCain fell Ill during his administration the entire country would be run by a soccer mom! Now, is there a soccer mom out there who could run a country ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTELY, Palin is simply not the droid we’re looking for!
Hindsight being 20/20 it almost seems like Palin was chosen because the Republicans wanted to lose. Your whole campaign is about experienced leadership and Palin is your choice for VP? Was your campaign run by Alfred E Neuman cause somebody’s logic is certainly cracked up here! I’m sure some people gave Sarah the benefit of the doubt and waited to hear what she had to say. They listened to that broken record play it’s long and languished tune over and over again. It kinda reminded me of those sound effects machines used by hack morning drive-time radio jocks, only hers only had about three buttons on it! Check out the Katie Couric interview (also on Youtube) for evidence of that!
At every turn Sarah Palin displayed a lack of experience, almost zero grasp of important concepts, and a strange air of arrogance one can only assume was borne of ignorance! Stop asking the question “Did Sarah Palin lose the election for the Republicans”. The real question is, “knowing how screwed up the economy was/is and how horrible US relations are with much of the world, did the Republicans intentionally lose the election in order to give the impossible task of governing to the United States first black president”?
Cause it seems like the Republicans are very good at making it seem like they’ve failed to execute a plan when in reality failure WAS the plan. Google 911 to see what I mean.
Hindsight being 20/20 it almost seems like Palin was chosen because the Republicans wanted to lose. Your whole campaign is about experienced leadership and Palin is your choice for VP? Was your campaign run by Alfred E Neuman cause somebody’s logic is certainly cracked up here! I’m sure some people gave Sarah the benefit of the doubt and waited to hear what she had to say. They listened to that broken record play it’s long and languished tune over and over again. It kinda reminded me of those sound effects machines used by hack morning drive-time radio jocks, only hers only had about three buttons on it! Check out the Katie Couric interview (also on Youtube) for evidence of that!
At every turn Sarah Palin displayed a lack of experience, almost zero grasp of important concepts, and a strange air of arrogance one can only assume was borne of ignorance! Stop asking the question “Did Sarah Palin lose the election for the Republicans”. The real question is, “knowing how screwed up the economy was/is and how horrible US relations are with much of the world, did the Republicans intentionally lose the election in order to give the impossible task of governing to the United States first black president”?
Cause it seems like the Republicans are very good at making it seem like they’ve failed to execute a plan when in reality failure WAS the plan. Google 911 to see what I mean.
Palin v.s. Letterman - This time it's personal!
17/06/09 06:46
I really try not to follow entertainment news. I only watch TV shows when they come out on DVD in part to avoid the insanity. Until recently I thought a Kardashian was a type of cashew nut. I used to watch Letterman and Conan almost every night but I found that TV was just taking up too much of my time. However being someone who works with the internet on a daily basis it’s difficult not to get constant updates on the Sarah Palin / David Letterman saga that seems to get more absurd every day. I watched video of “the joke” and although it was an unusually low blow for Dave, I’ve seen pretty much every other late night host go as low or sometimes even lower. All the press surrounding “the joke” seems to be turning sheep into bloodhounds, pretending to run far afield to sniff out the truth of Dave’s intent and coming back with finely crafted republican false-logic in their ever gaping maws!
For the record just in case you didn’t notice, David Letterman is a comedian and a television talk show host. He is not a head of state or a political opponent. There are far more important issues to deal with right now but of course good ol’ Sarah who is still smarting from a crushing defeat has got her fangs out and there’s no telling who will wind up with teeth marks in their ass. This is a clear illustration of why Palin should not have been Vice President of the United states. America really dodged a bullet here. All americans should count themselves lucky. This woman has blown a joke out of all proportion for no other reason than to stay in the public eye. It’s a shameful display.Her camp invented the idea that Letterman was talking about her 14 year old daughter rather than the 18 year old daughter even though anyone with half a brain would know better! Is it any shocker that a bunch of people that voted for George W Bush not once but TWICE would take up the torch of stupidity once again to run this fools errand against Letterman?
I see blog posts and article comments from people saying they will never watch Letterman again. These people either never watched the show in the first place or are simply so easily swayed that something will sway them back in a month’s time. I wouldn’t be surprised if ratings are up due to this fake scandal. To give you an idea of how much of a joke most americans feel Palin is, I bet it would be quite a tight race if Letterman ran for office against Palin. I’d vote for Dave in a heartbeat given that Palin was the only other option! Before you ask, no it’s not because she’s a woman! If Letterman ran against Ellen DeGeneres that would be quite a battle let me tell you. Absurd you say? Either one would be a better choice than Palin by orders of magnitude and I haven’t even thought about what they might be running for!
So here’s what happened in a nutshell. Dave told a groaner of a joke at the expense of Palin and family which is certainly nothing new. Palin and company took it as an opportunity to stir up some muck and go out with a bang. This might also have been an attack on CBS in general due to Palin’s deer in the headlights routine during her interview with Katie Couric, which some say had much to do with why the recent election was lost. They are probably sitting around saying “we may have lost the election but man did we carve that Letterman a new one”! If that’s really something to hang your hat on Sarah, you don’t deserve to be in charge of Girl Scouts much less Vice President of the United States!
I know it’s good for a politician to be a media whore, but then when the camera is actually on you it’s a good idea to have something coherent to say. The reason why Sarah lost McCain the election is because she kept repeating what needed to be done, “shore up the economy and make America strong again”. It’s great to say that, over and over again as if it were your name, rank and serial number, but you’ve actually got to have some sort of idea how to achieve that. At the very least you have to look like you know how to achieve it!
One thing in defense of Sarah Palin. Anyone in politics that was offered a chance to be Vice President would jump at that chance. I’m sure she never expected to be asked, but it’s an offer you don’t refuse in politics. The reason for this is that the mechanism of political office often propels ones ego outside the boundaries of reality. Despite all good intentions and a real willingness to do some good, had she the aptitude to stop and assess her own limitations she would have declined the offer.
For the record just in case you didn’t notice, David Letterman is a comedian and a television talk show host. He is not a head of state or a political opponent. There are far more important issues to deal with right now but of course good ol’ Sarah who is still smarting from a crushing defeat has got her fangs out and there’s no telling who will wind up with teeth marks in their ass. This is a clear illustration of why Palin should not have been Vice President of the United states. America really dodged a bullet here. All americans should count themselves lucky. This woman has blown a joke out of all proportion for no other reason than to stay in the public eye. It’s a shameful display.Her camp invented the idea that Letterman was talking about her 14 year old daughter rather than the 18 year old daughter even though anyone with half a brain would know better! Is it any shocker that a bunch of people that voted for George W Bush not once but TWICE would take up the torch of stupidity once again to run this fools errand against Letterman?
I see blog posts and article comments from people saying they will never watch Letterman again. These people either never watched the show in the first place or are simply so easily swayed that something will sway them back in a month’s time. I wouldn’t be surprised if ratings are up due to this fake scandal. To give you an idea of how much of a joke most americans feel Palin is, I bet it would be quite a tight race if Letterman ran for office against Palin. I’d vote for Dave in a heartbeat given that Palin was the only other option! Before you ask, no it’s not because she’s a woman! If Letterman ran against Ellen DeGeneres that would be quite a battle let me tell you. Absurd you say? Either one would be a better choice than Palin by orders of magnitude and I haven’t even thought about what they might be running for!
So here’s what happened in a nutshell. Dave told a groaner of a joke at the expense of Palin and family which is certainly nothing new. Palin and company took it as an opportunity to stir up some muck and go out with a bang. This might also have been an attack on CBS in general due to Palin’s deer in the headlights routine during her interview with Katie Couric, which some say had much to do with why the recent election was lost. They are probably sitting around saying “we may have lost the election but man did we carve that Letterman a new one”! If that’s really something to hang your hat on Sarah, you don’t deserve to be in charge of Girl Scouts much less Vice President of the United States!
I know it’s good for a politician to be a media whore, but then when the camera is actually on you it’s a good idea to have something coherent to say. The reason why Sarah lost McCain the election is because she kept repeating what needed to be done, “shore up the economy and make America strong again”. It’s great to say that, over and over again as if it were your name, rank and serial number, but you’ve actually got to have some sort of idea how to achieve that. At the very least you have to look like you know how to achieve it!
One thing in defense of Sarah Palin. Anyone in politics that was offered a chance to be Vice President would jump at that chance. I’m sure she never expected to be asked, but it’s an offer you don’t refuse in politics. The reason for this is that the mechanism of political office often propels ones ego outside the boundaries of reality. Despite all good intentions and a real willingness to do some good, had she the aptitude to stop and assess her own limitations she would have declined the offer.
Panhandler's Guide to Riches From Rags
12/05/09 03:09
Begging For Dollars
In these uncertain times, downsizing, companies closing down and mass layoffs are on the horizon for thousands. Our governments don't seem to care so perhaps a tax free income appeals to you. Perhaps you don't have a choice. If you have to resort to begging for money on the street to pay the mortgage, I feel for you. I have luckily never been there myself, but I do live in the downtown of a fairly large city and as a curiosity, I have observed the panhandlers and buskers. The ones that do well have some things in common. So I thought I would share them with you here. The thought here is this. Why wait until you're homeless to beg for income?
The Three D's
If you really want to make the big bucks as a beggar you've got to look and act the part. If you don't, people will notice and you don't want to waste valuable time doing nothing without being paid for it! It's like a government job! If you're asking for handouts remember the three D's:
Derelict
Dejected
Disheveled
Before you go out panhandling ask yourself the following:
Do I look like a derelict? Do I feel dejected as if society has no place for me? Is my appearance sloppy, my clothing old worn and torn? In other words do I look disheveled enough that people will take pity on me to the tune of a handful of spare change?
First Impressions
First impressions are very important. Wear Ratty clothing, the more holes in it the better. People won't give money to someone who is wearing better shoes than they are. You're going to want to bathe but it's a good idea to wear clothing that you may have worn the day before or slept in the night before. Don't iron your clothing either, that's a dead giveaway. Irons need electricity and if you want to appear homeless it makes sense that even if you own an iron, you don't have a place to plug it in! You also want to avoid mouthwash for two reasons. First, the perception is that if you can afford mouthwash you can afford a sandwich. Second, people might think you're drinking mouthwash to get a buzz and people are less likely to give you money if they think you just want to get drunk
The Skinny
If you're overweight, don't be a panhandler. People will have a hard time believing you're hungry. Go on welfare or join Amway or something like that if you're overweight. I am not making fun of overweight people here. I am just pointing out that people won't give you money unless they think you need it for food. It's ironic because it's a fact that thin people are considered more attractive. Attractive people find work easier. So in reality it's the overweight people that really need help. Unfortunately if society doesn't like the look of you, you're screwed! Busking might be a better way to go for the overweight individual. More on this later.
Ask Nicely
How you ask for money is very important. Avoid calling people "buddy" or "big guy" or "Sir" or "Ma'am". Stick with something simple like "could you spare a few dollars for a bite to eat". It's always good to be somewhere where there are lots of people so you aren't putting any one person on the spot, unless it's a guy who is walking with a woman. If it's a new relationship he might toss you some coins to appear generous because he thinks she'll be impressed. Just ask those annoying people who sell roses in bars! They play upon this scenario with ruthless efficiency! Don't get mad when people turn you down or ignore you, concentrate on the next person. You're going to be rejected 96.5% of the time, so don't let that get to you, it's a business like anything else.
Busking
If you have a problem with begging, busking might be a good alternative. If you sing or play a musical instrument, juggle etc, you can do this on the street to earn money. Some places prohibit this so check the laws in your area. Some cities actually require you to get a permit or a license of some sort to engage in busking. If you are good at your particular skill people will be impressed and will be less likely to care how you look. You can wear better clothes than a panhandler as well. A street performer is a few rungs up the ladder from a common beggar as well, so you can take a little more pride in what you are doing. However if you are rail thin and have the ability to look like you're near death for lack of food, you can't really beat begging.
Role Model
There's an older native north american gentleman on the corner most days. He's about a block from my apartment. He has about three teeth and he doesn't even have anything for people to put money in. He just sits on the pavement with his arms extended, hands cupped and his head down. His long hair hanging down obscuring his face. I don't think I've ever actually seen his eyes. Perhaps this is part of his business model. Maybe he appears less threatening because he never makes eye contact? Anyhow he wears the same torn jeans and the same blue fleece hoodie every day. I have never heard him speak.
I bet you he does quite well.
In these uncertain times, downsizing, companies closing down and mass layoffs are on the horizon for thousands. Our governments don't seem to care so perhaps a tax free income appeals to you. Perhaps you don't have a choice. If you have to resort to begging for money on the street to pay the mortgage, I feel for you. I have luckily never been there myself, but I do live in the downtown of a fairly large city and as a curiosity, I have observed the panhandlers and buskers. The ones that do well have some things in common. So I thought I would share them with you here. The thought here is this. Why wait until you're homeless to beg for income?
The Three D's
If you really want to make the big bucks as a beggar you've got to look and act the part. If you don't, people will notice and you don't want to waste valuable time doing nothing without being paid for it! It's like a government job! If you're asking for handouts remember the three D's:
Derelict
Dejected
Disheveled
Before you go out panhandling ask yourself the following:
Do I look like a derelict? Do I feel dejected as if society has no place for me? Is my appearance sloppy, my clothing old worn and torn? In other words do I look disheveled enough that people will take pity on me to the tune of a handful of spare change?
First Impressions
First impressions are very important. Wear Ratty clothing, the more holes in it the better. People won't give money to someone who is wearing better shoes than they are. You're going to want to bathe but it's a good idea to wear clothing that you may have worn the day before or slept in the night before. Don't iron your clothing either, that's a dead giveaway. Irons need electricity and if you want to appear homeless it makes sense that even if you own an iron, you don't have a place to plug it in! You also want to avoid mouthwash for two reasons. First, the perception is that if you can afford mouthwash you can afford a sandwich. Second, people might think you're drinking mouthwash to get a buzz and people are less likely to give you money if they think you just want to get drunk
The Skinny
If you're overweight, don't be a panhandler. People will have a hard time believing you're hungry. Go on welfare or join Amway or something like that if you're overweight. I am not making fun of overweight people here. I am just pointing out that people won't give you money unless they think you need it for food. It's ironic because it's a fact that thin people are considered more attractive. Attractive people find work easier. So in reality it's the overweight people that really need help. Unfortunately if society doesn't like the look of you, you're screwed! Busking might be a better way to go for the overweight individual. More on this later.
Ask Nicely
How you ask for money is very important. Avoid calling people "buddy" or "big guy" or "Sir" or "Ma'am". Stick with something simple like "could you spare a few dollars for a bite to eat". It's always good to be somewhere where there are lots of people so you aren't putting any one person on the spot, unless it's a guy who is walking with a woman. If it's a new relationship he might toss you some coins to appear generous because he thinks she'll be impressed. Just ask those annoying people who sell roses in bars! They play upon this scenario with ruthless efficiency! Don't get mad when people turn you down or ignore you, concentrate on the next person. You're going to be rejected 96.5% of the time, so don't let that get to you, it's a business like anything else.
Busking
If you have a problem with begging, busking might be a good alternative. If you sing or play a musical instrument, juggle etc, you can do this on the street to earn money. Some places prohibit this so check the laws in your area. Some cities actually require you to get a permit or a license of some sort to engage in busking. If you are good at your particular skill people will be impressed and will be less likely to care how you look. You can wear better clothes than a panhandler as well. A street performer is a few rungs up the ladder from a common beggar as well, so you can take a little more pride in what you are doing. However if you are rail thin and have the ability to look like you're near death for lack of food, you can't really beat begging.
Role Model
There's an older native north american gentleman on the corner most days. He's about a block from my apartment. He has about three teeth and he doesn't even have anything for people to put money in. He just sits on the pavement with his arms extended, hands cupped and his head down. His long hair hanging down obscuring his face. I don't think I've ever actually seen his eyes. Perhaps this is part of his business model. Maybe he appears less threatening because he never makes eye contact? Anyhow he wears the same torn jeans and the same blue fleece hoodie every day. I have never heard him speak.
I bet you he does quite well.
The Reality Of This Point in History?
11/05/09 12:51
The Reality of this point in history?
For years now, for some inexplicable reason I have tended to gravitate towards the practice of sleeping all day and working all night. I never quite new why until recently. I used to think it was because I used to perform in bar bands for so many years that it seems like nothing for me to be awake and functioning at 4am. Seems plausible right? Well the other night I went for a walk around 4am, there was almost nobody on the street, all the doors on all the shops were shut tight and locked until morning. The traffic lights meant nothing to me I could cross the street with impunity. There was something eerily peaceful about it. And then, like a bolt of lightening it hit me.
All the doors were locked, I could walk all I wanted to and there was no place to go. There was no communication possible. It's not that there were no rules, it was that there was no one there to care if I broke them. In that split second in time, I felt like the universe was finally being honest with me. It was saying:
"you're on your own"
"all the doors are closed"
"You will always be trapped outside"
"there's nowhere for you to go"
Is This how everyone feels?
Or is it just me?
Doesn't it seem like there is some unseen force that's going to somehow negate anything positive you try to do? You see people on the street during the day and they just feel like non-player characters in some sort of bizarre video game? It's like you're ok, or at least that's how it seems but there is something very wrong and you can't quite put your finger on it? It's like you forgot something, and if you could just remember what it was it would explain everything. If you could just remember, there would come the realization that this isn't actually your real life. You would suddenly realize how to get from where you are, to where you've always wanted to be. Are you awake or asleep? is this a nightmare or a dream? And if it's a dream, maybe it's a lucid dream that you can control, but for some reason you're afraid to even try.
And then you realize that somewhere along the line you lost the ability to impose your will on your surroundings. Somewhere along the line you stopped trying to make the world work for you and you started to learn to live within the narrow beam, a line on the ground that you walk like a slave to governments and organizations, and churches and banks, and traffic lights......
Are you a slave with delusions of freedom? Or a free person that feels like a slave?
Ask yourself this,....Is there really any way to know for certain?
For years now, for some inexplicable reason I have tended to gravitate towards the practice of sleeping all day and working all night. I never quite new why until recently. I used to think it was because I used to perform in bar bands for so many years that it seems like nothing for me to be awake and functioning at 4am. Seems plausible right? Well the other night I went for a walk around 4am, there was almost nobody on the street, all the doors on all the shops were shut tight and locked until morning. The traffic lights meant nothing to me I could cross the street with impunity. There was something eerily peaceful about it. And then, like a bolt of lightening it hit me.
All the doors were locked, I could walk all I wanted to and there was no place to go. There was no communication possible. It's not that there were no rules, it was that there was no one there to care if I broke them. In that split second in time, I felt like the universe was finally being honest with me. It was saying:
"you're on your own"
"all the doors are closed"
"You will always be trapped outside"
"there's nowhere for you to go"
Is This how everyone feels?
Or is it just me?
Doesn't it seem like there is some unseen force that's going to somehow negate anything positive you try to do? You see people on the street during the day and they just feel like non-player characters in some sort of bizarre video game? It's like you're ok, or at least that's how it seems but there is something very wrong and you can't quite put your finger on it? It's like you forgot something, and if you could just remember what it was it would explain everything. If you could just remember, there would come the realization that this isn't actually your real life. You would suddenly realize how to get from where you are, to where you've always wanted to be. Are you awake or asleep? is this a nightmare or a dream? And if it's a dream, maybe it's a lucid dream that you can control, but for some reason you're afraid to even try.
And then you realize that somewhere along the line you lost the ability to impose your will on your surroundings. Somewhere along the line you stopped trying to make the world work for you and you started to learn to live within the narrow beam, a line on the ground that you walk like a slave to governments and organizations, and churches and banks, and traffic lights......
Are you a slave with delusions of freedom? Or a free person that feels like a slave?
Ask yourself this,....Is there really any way to know for certain?